Crazy Chemist Goes Cooking 1: Artemisia Calamari

I came up with this today. Haven't tried it yet due to lack of absinthe or comparable. I was basically violating pretty much every law of "standard" Italian cooking and doing things to tomato sauce that would make my Nonna cringe (or beat me with a wooden spoon), such as adding Cajun spices, ground cloves, Allspice, and on my mom's prompting (by prompting I mean promptly telling me not to), Worcester and Soy sauces. The result was almost too sweet, and so I decided to add some bitter. Absinthe, probably one of the most bitter substances on the planet, immediately came to mind; we don't have absinthe in my parent's disgrace of a liquor cabinet, so in consolation I added some Martini & Rossi. I cooked some elbows with ridges, and heated some leftover fried calamari in the toaster, poured the sauce on the pasta. It was CRAZY tasty. I thought the sweet of the cloves and Worcester would be disgusting, but the hots and hint of M&R balanced it out. When the buttery fried calamari hit my taste buds along side it, it was, as I often describe because I'm a perv, a culinary orgasm in my mouth. So with a little modification I came up with this:

Artemisia Calamari
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, once around the pan in a slow stream
1 tablespoon butter
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 shallots, minced
1/4 cup* Absinthe or comparable artemisia extract blend
1/2 cup chicken stock
1 can crushed tomatoes
Coarse salt and pepper
Ground cloves
Worcester sauce
Ground hot pepper
16 ounces pasta, such as gemelli, or penne rigate
Fried calamari

*Nota bene: I have never worked with the stuff, so I don't know how bitter it would get, and still need to tinker with the proportions with pretty much all of this. The idea is to balance out the sweetness and increase complexity, not wash out any other flavors (this is true of cooking in general).

Absinthe contains thujone, and a high alcohol content. However, in the proportions used, both are negligible. Thujone content in absinthe is already highly regulated (generally 10mg/L), and its toxicity in small amounts is debatable (in my opinion laughable, LD50 in mice is 45mg/kg ), nonetheless the absinthe should most likely be avoided if one is pregnant, planning to become pregnant, has a sensitivity, or other shit. Ask your doctor before being a total dumbass; use common sense and you'll be fine.

Place a large skillet over moderate heat. Add oil, butter, garlic, and shallots. Saute for 3 to 5 minutes until slightly golden. Add absinthe and reduce to about 2/3 original volume. Add chicken stock, tomatoes, Worcester sauce, salt, pepper, cloves, and hot pepper. Bring sauce to a bubble and reduce heat to simmer.

While sauce simmers, prepare the pasta and calamari. Cook pasta to al dente, drain (DO NOT RINSE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH!!!1 I really fucking hate people who rinse perfectly good pasta. Liz did this once. I should have broken up with her at that very moment) and return to the pot. Add a few generous ladelfuls of sauce to the pasta and mix around a bit. Serve with fried calamari, feel free to mix it up if desired, I like keeping the calamari somewhat on the side and then mixing in-oris.

Now if you were completely bat-shit insane, you could substitute/supplement the absinthe with an extract of your.... erm... preferred native/ritual psychoactive. From what I've heard, the majority of those are also quite bitter, and could do the trick.