I don't think I have bipolar.

'Nuff said. Well not really.

For some reason I got the idea to look up blogs written by people with bipolar, and one popped out at me:

http://bipolarhappens.com/bhblog/

It's the same site that my parents basically get fed their information when it comes to bipolar.

And I'm reading her words and I can tell a few things quite easily:
-> I don't have whatever she has
-> She is on medication
-> The medication isn't working.

Granted, the second postulate is an assumption, at least for the most current blog posts, but I'm sure she's been on medicine in the past. But either way, the medicine treatment is clearly not working. I can't tell whether she thinks it is working or not, but the fact that the main drugs that she and her friends have taken are anticonvulsants means that her psychiatrist is working in the past.

I find it interesting that as I often find, I am ahead of the curve. I knew pretty early on that anticonvulsants aren't the way to treat any sort of mood disorder or any disorder aside from, well, epilepsy. I mean, shouldn't that be common fucking sense?

Yes, I know obviously lots of drugs have lots of off-label uses that do in fact work. But there are two major flaws with the current methodology of psychiatry:

->Antipsychotics are going to decrease psychoses in ANYONE.

Couple this with the fact that drug companies will push their drugs for off-label uses and suddenly you have papers testifying how these completely blunt dopamine antagonists are "miracle drugs." Anxiety! Bipolar! OCD! Depression! Bad day at school! All gone! Why? Because you're blunting affect. So of course you're going to see "improvement" when you define improvement as a decrease in things you arbitrarily deem as bad.

It's only now years later after the original research papers have percolated through the peer-review system that people have been like Shit wait....we need to take a closer look at these.

-> Any time you put something into the body, homeostasis tries to revert it, and this is more pronounced when you use larger doses and use drugs outside their primary route of effect. The human body is a tightly woven web, and the more you mess with it, the harder it is for it to regain balance. Considering that bipolar is a balance disorder more than anything else, antipsychotics should be the LAST thing you should be giving people.

Psychiatry needs to grow up, and start looking deeper into the results of the medications they are putting their patients on, rather than being spoonfed research papers written almost exclusively by drug companies.

So, back to me, why yes I do have unstable moods. But if that's the case, call it what it is!

I have low emotional inertia. But as long as I'm the one controlling the direction, I really don't see what the big deal is. I'm just a fucking unique little snowflake, goddamnit :-)